(( Tagged by ))


Two human females and a humanoid female are sitting at a table. One human has dark coffee skin and a large afro, and is wearing a white and gold spandex outfit. The other human has her black hair bound up in a ponytail, and portions of her ceramic and metal armor makes ominous whirring noises. The humanoid has her flame-red hair worn loose, and her blue eyes are in striking contrast to her red skin, the large leathery black wings sprouting from her back, the long prehensile barbed tail, and the slowly shifting black satiny something that covers her form… well, sort of covers.

I enter the room and close the door behind me, produce a clipboard and pencil, and sit down.


George: All right, I get a prize if I do this, so let's get started. Boy or girl?
Black woman: Huh? That should be obvious, sugah.
Armored woman: Technically it doesn’t matter, but.. girl.
Humanoid: Depends on what you want… would you prefer a boy?


George: Hey, it's part of this whole interview deal. Don’t sweat it.
Humanoid: Ah. Well.. I don’t sweat, so, that works out.

George: Right. What are your names?
Black woman: Kashaye Parker. But folks call me Soul.
Humanoid: Ooh, you have a soul, darling? May I taste?
Armored woman: Oh stop. We know you’re a succubus.
Humanoid: Oh pooh. Ruin the surprise.
Armored woman: Yeah whatever. I’m Lucretia… or… just Lucy.
Humanoid: Er… I can’t tell you my name, it … would be bad.
Lucy: Define “bad”.
Humanoid: Erm… I’d have to serve whoever knew it. You know. Forever.
Soul: Ahh.
Humanoid: … but you can call me Dia, that’s safe enough.


George: How old are you?
Soul: Uhmmm… twenty-eight.
Lucy: - glares at Soul- Riight.
Soul: Ok ok.. thirty-three, -mumbled_ bitch.
Lucy: -looks smug- Thirty.
Dia: Four thousand, three hundred and… fifty-eight. I think.
Soul: No WAY!
Lucy: Who’s your plastic surgeon?


George: What do you think your life expectancy is?
Soul: I dunno. A few months ago, I’d have thought eighty, but now… who knows?
Lucy: Depends on how long my prosthetics last.
Dia: Forever? I mean… unless someone… you know… exorcises me or something.


George: What's your height?
Soul: Six feet two.
Lucy: Five ten.
Dia: Uhmmm… Five foot seven… unless they like me taller.. or shorter… I dunno, it changes.


George: What is your job?
Soul: Physics researcher, superhero… pin-up celebrity…
Lucy: Well I WAS a robotics and AI engineer… now I’m… erm… between jobs.
Dia: -giggles- Tempter of men… -shoots Soul and Lucy a Look- … and women too, sometimes…


George: What is your favorite color?
Soul: White and gold. And purple. And gold. Yeah. Definitely.
Dia: Uhmm… that’s … three colors.
Soul: Ok ok… uhm… gold, then.
Lucy: Gunmetal grey.
Dia: Mmmmm… do I have to decide? They’re all soooo nice. But I really do like red. Lots.



George: What's your favorite food?
Lucy: Ermm… I kinda have to … limit… my intake…
Soul: Mmmmmm! Set me up some cornbread an’ ribs, baby!
Dia: Passion. Lust. Seminal fluid.
Lucy: … He didn’t ask about your sex life.
Dia: No, really… I’m serious, that’s what I eat.

George: What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Soul: Mocha Fudge!!
Lucy: … I’m… kinda lactose intolerant.
Dia: Ice cream? I dunno… is it like whipped cream?


George: Have you killed anyone?
Soul: Once. And no, I don’ wanna talk about it.
Lucy: Me? No. But my Robot Death Squadron –waves at several robots with weapons, who cheerily wave back- have killed, maimed, and dismembered quite a few, right guys?
Robots: Exterminate! STERILIZE!!
Lucy: -flustered- I hate it when they watch too much Sci-Fi channel.
Dia: It’s safer to ask who I haven’t killed. No, wait, I didn’t kill them. They… expired whilst in the throes of sweet passion.
Soul: …. Slut.
Dia: Why thank you, darling! What a nice compliment!
Soul: ….


George: Do you hate anyone?
Soul: Erm… no… not really. Well I hated my ex… until I put him through a wall on accident… then I realized I still loved him, just hated the way he used to slap me around… -starts crying-
Lucy: Soul, what happened?
Soul: I said I didn’t want to talk about it.
Lucy: Well not anyone in particular… except that evil corporate bitch Crey… and… everyone who works for her… god if I ever catch them in a back alley…
Robots: EXTERMINATE!!
Lucy: Guys!!! Stooooop!!
Dia: I’m a lover, not a hater. And I’m one hell of a lover, darlings.
George, Lucy, Soul: -shying away- Riiiight.


George: Have any secrets?
Lucy: Ermmm… no, not really. Well, OK one. But it’s… erm… -blushes-
Dia: Tell us!!
Lucy: …. I have a crush on Johnny Depp.
Dia: Oh. –looks disinterested-
Lucy: … What? He’s cute, he’s…
Soul: Ermmm…. Do I .. have to tell?
Lucy: Yes. I told, you should tell.
Soul: I… have a piercing. You know… there. –looks down, blushing-
Lucy: ….
Soul: Sorry.
Dia: My na… my… uh… true nature, yeah…. That’s it… that’s the ticket… my true nature…


George: Do you love anyone?
Lucy: … not… that matters.
Dia: Oh I love EVERYONE… I love them long time! –giggles-
Soul: Tramp.
George: Lucy what do you mean?
Lucy: Er… I’m… not equipped for that. Uh.. yet. Next feature release. … I hope.
George: Right. Moving on… Soul, what about you?
Soul: Chastity.
Dia: Oh NO WAY you’re a virgin!!
Soul: -startled- I didn’t say I was. I love Chastity. She’s a person.
Dia: Oh. I thought you meant something else. My bad.
Soul: … Skank.


George: What do you do to relax?
Lucy: I… fine-tune my cybernetics. Or my robots. Or I work on the … erm… -her fingers on her mechanical hand vibrate and she suddenly blushes red-
Dia: I thought you said you weren’t equipped for that?
Lucy: I meant my legs. They’re not exactly soft and silky smooth.
Dia: Oh.
Soul: I hang out with my Mistress… I mean my lover Chastity.
Dia: Mistress? The plot thickens… -looks lustfully at Soul-
Soul: … what? She likes watching CSI…
Dia: … oh. Boooor-ing!
Lucy: … Bitch.


George: Now what are you going to do?
Lucy: Somewhere… there’s a big warehouse, with lots of high-tech gear inside… along with a totally ineffective and untrained security staff.
Robots: EXTERMINATE!!! DESTROY!!! STERILIZE!!!
Lucy: Oh. SHUT. UP!!
Robots: -meekly- … by your command, Mistress.
Soul: Mmm… Chastity’s off doing a Hami raid, and I can’t stand those, get goo all over my outfit. Maybe I’ll hit the club.
Dia: Want company?
Soul: … Get thee behind me, demoness.
Dia: That’s the idea, darling…

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Now, I tag these three people to do this too!





(If you haven't figured it out, it's an interview between you, and three of your characters.)